TEACH THEM HOW TO TREAT YOU

Two things I tell myself daily is,  my trust is in God; and I’m not obligated to keep anyone in my life whom I can’t trust; whether that trust was broken by lies or deceit, betrayal, or abuse in any form.  (This also includes people who don’t stand up for me when I’ve been wronged; because to me, that’s betrayal. )
All my life my mom would always tell me to “let it go”, “don’t say anything”, or “keep the peace” when someone wronged me in any way…a verbal or physical attack, it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t the perfect teen, but I was pretty good.  I kept my nose clean probably 99% of the time,  I didn’t party,  create drama, or gossip;  and I was an exceptional friend.  If I cared for you, I had your back.  I’m still like that.
It seemed there was always someone in my family who’d be discussing me and my life.  Generally it was my brothers and their wives, and it was so unsettling.
I remember, even as a young teen, telling my mom that keeping quiet about being wronged didn’t sit well with me. It was as if I were giving them permission to do whatever they wanted to me and I’d be passive. I even said, “Not saying anything is teaching them how they can treat me.” But I kept quiet for her peace of mind.
And guess what.
It taught people how they could treat me.
Now as an adult, I’ve decided that no one is worth sacrificing my peace of mind. 
It’s sad that those we believe should be the ones’ to love us, don’t.
That’s why it’s so very important that we don’t base our self-worth around what others think of us or whether or not someone else loves us.
We need to love ourselves.
The thing is, we’re not generally taught to do this!  I certainly wasn’t.  I remember when growing up if I ever talked about anything I could do well, I was told I was bragging or “too big for my britches.”  I also remember being told that if I boasted (yep, that’s another term for just acknowledging what you’re good at) that I’d lose that ability.
Are you kidding me!?
It created in me the ability to…
     quickly dismiss a compliment.
     find fault in everything I do.
     allow others to ignore my talents (or worse yet, put them down).
     think less of myself.
     feel unimportant – or at least less important than others.
Let’s teach our children to love themselves.  Let’s teach them how powerful they are.  Let’s let them talk about their accomplishments. Let’s let them praise themselves!
Let’s also teach them to stick up for themselves.  It’s okay to confront someone who’s speaking badly about them, spreading a rumor, creating lies, or being a bully.
And it’s okay to eliminate people from their lives who don’t treat them well.
It’s okay.
It’s actually MORE THAN okay.  IT’S NECESSARY.
It helps develop a strong sense of self and acknowledgment in who they truly are…a part of God.
The lessons of our childhood can be used to shape the future in a new way; a peaceful, more loving way.
Choose YOU.
Over any relative or acquaintance who does you wrong in any way.  Especially if that wrong has been on repeat.
Choose YOU.
You deserve to be chosen.
And tell the world what you’re good at.
Blessings.
Julie

Originally written 3/19/21

 

I’m currently writing a book about my life experiences; growing up seeing Spirit, advice and things I was told and taught growing up, and the abuse I endured – mostly at the hands of relatives – and my perspective and learning experiences through it all.  The pain, the growth, the healing…the moving on.  Everything will be in this book.  If you’d like to be notified when it’s available for purchase click here and you’ll get on the list.  I’ll hold a limited time first copy discount. 

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